We talked about why it was a special day, and he knows that it is the day that the judge said that he gets to stay with mommy forever.
Don't mind my eyes in the picture below. I had been crying...tears of joy of course! :)
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
One year since he is a Probst...
On December 22nd Elijah and I celebrated his adoption day. Last year on that day, we walked into the Milwaukee County Court house and he legally became my son. I felt like he was my son all along, but I sure felt like a weight was being lifted off of me that day since I knew I was not going to have to worry about him being taken from me.
We talked about why it was a special day, and he knows that it is the day that the judge said that he gets to stay with mommy forever.
Don't mind my eyes in the picture below. I had been crying...tears of joy of course! :)
We talked about why it was a special day, and he knows that it is the day that the judge said that he gets to stay with mommy forever.
Don't mind my eyes in the picture below. I had been crying...tears of joy of course! :)
Thursday, December 16, 2010
4 Years Old? How did that Happen?
He has come so far since the day he walked into my life and has made me so proud. I mean from a child that would not talk to a child that will not stop talking, he now can write his name, though he refuses, he can count, he knows his colors and shapes, etc. He is a very smart little boy and I am just so proud of him.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Fostering/Adoption
Ok...so for those of you that may have thought about fostering/adopting...what are you waiting for? All of those horror stories that you hear are not the standard. Everyone that I know that has gone through the system has had a positive experience.
No, it is not the easiest. I am not going to lie and tell you that it is. It is, however, the most rewarding thing that you will ever do. Look at the face of my baby. Try to tell me that it was not worth it? It was!
There are a lot of children in the system that need a safe place to live. You hear all of the horror stories of children being abused, neglected, raped, and even worse..sometimes it happens in a foster home. Stop shaking your head and it and saying "So sad..." Step up and do something about it.
For any single women out there thinking, I can't afford it. It is not easy, but there is help for you. No matter what anyone tells you that a child should have a father, it is better than where they were right? (or they would not be in the system)
I am not saying this is right for everyone. It is not. If you have been thinking about it, contact me and I can get your more information or if you are in Wisconsin, go to http://www.chw.org/display/PPF/DocID/35152/router.asp
No, it is not the easiest. I am not going to lie and tell you that it is. It is, however, the most rewarding thing that you will ever do. Look at the face of my baby. Try to tell me that it was not worth it? It was!
There are a lot of children in the system that need a safe place to live. You hear all of the horror stories of children being abused, neglected, raped, and even worse..sometimes it happens in a foster home. Stop shaking your head and it and saying "So sad..." Step up and do something about it.
For any single women out there thinking, I can't afford it. It is not easy, but there is help for you. No matter what anyone tells you that a child should have a father, it is better than where they were right? (or they would not be in the system)
I am not saying this is right for everyone. It is not. If you have been thinking about it, contact me and I can get your more information or if you are in Wisconsin, go to http://www.chw.org/display/PPF/DocID/35152/router.asp
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Day two and beyond
The next day happened to be mother's day. We had a family function to go to. I was nervous because it was about an hour and a half away and there would be a good amount of people there. Would he be ok? Would he be scared? It is a lot of change for him all at once.
We got there and a family friend, Paula read books to him and he was in heaven! He also played ball (throwing it up and down the stairs) with the guys. He was amazingly fine. He just adjusts well. Now, don't get me wrong, not ALL kids in the system adjust this well. They have been through so much that the change either doesn't bother them or sets them right over the edge.
That next week, he started a new daycare. Again, I was the one who was nervous about it. He did great. I think I called 3 or 4 times that day to check on him. :) When I picked him up, he came running to me and gave me a hug.
Things continued to go well, we had a routine down and Elijah was thriving. He was talking more and more and his speech was improving. Three months after having him his case was moved over to the TPR (Termination of parental rights) stage. At this point, they need to have an "Adoption resource" ready for him before the rights can be terminated. This means, they need someone to adopt him. I panicked. I knew that I just wanted to foster. Could I do this on my own? Could I raise him right without a dad in his life? This was a forever decision....I had to think about it. I asked his caseworker to hold things for a few weeks to let me think.
Some family was all for it. Some were only concerned that it would be too much for me. They all loved him, but were just concerned for me, and what this all would mean for me. After a lot of prayers, thoughts, sleepless nights, I called his caseworker and said that I wanted to adopt him.
They continued the TPR process and it went through easily. (At least for me). I didn't have to be there. It really was just a formality from my understanding. Now this is where we had to wait again. We had to give enough time for someone to appeal it. No one did, so after 60? days (I don't remember) I was told no one appealed and we were set to go into the adoption process.
I was given a court date of 12/22/09. That would be the day that Elijah was officially my son, even though he was already my son in my eyes. I had shopping to do! I went out and got him a 5 piece suit and he was ready to go!
The day of his adoption, I cried all the way down the hall to the courtroom. I was trying to explain to Elijah that they were happy tears. Everyone knew it was adoption day by the way he was dressed. Everyone was saying congrats and the women were melting over him. (nothing new)
I got to the end of the hall and there was a man there and asked if I was ok. I said "Yes, I just have to find the courtroom" and kept walking with tears rolling down my face. He told me that that WAS the courtroom and come back. He opened the door, and there was all my family.
When we got into the actual courtroom, there was that man, now in a black robe. I was so embarrassed. He just smiled. I cried most of the time in court too. I was just so happy and relieved that he was now my son and his name would officially be Elijah.
After court was done, Judge Murray came down and gave us all a hug and gave Elijah a toy. We took pictures and some family went home and some went out to lunch with us. It was just a good day...even if I cried through most of it. :)
We got there and a family friend, Paula read books to him and he was in heaven! He also played ball (throwing it up and down the stairs) with the guys. He was amazingly fine. He just adjusts well. Now, don't get me wrong, not ALL kids in the system adjust this well. They have been through so much that the change either doesn't bother them or sets them right over the edge.
That next week, he started a new daycare. Again, I was the one who was nervous about it. He did great. I think I called 3 or 4 times that day to check on him. :) When I picked him up, he came running to me and gave me a hug.
Things continued to go well, we had a routine down and Elijah was thriving. He was talking more and more and his speech was improving. Three months after having him his case was moved over to the TPR (Termination of parental rights) stage. At this point, they need to have an "Adoption resource" ready for him before the rights can be terminated. This means, they need someone to adopt him. I panicked. I knew that I just wanted to foster. Could I do this on my own? Could I raise him right without a dad in his life? This was a forever decision....I had to think about it. I asked his caseworker to hold things for a few weeks to let me think.
Some family was all for it. Some were only concerned that it would be too much for me. They all loved him, but were just concerned for me, and what this all would mean for me. After a lot of prayers, thoughts, sleepless nights, I called his caseworker and said that I wanted to adopt him.
They continued the TPR process and it went through easily. (At least for me). I didn't have to be there. It really was just a formality from my understanding. Now this is where we had to wait again. We had to give enough time for someone to appeal it. No one did, so after 60? days (I don't remember) I was told no one appealed and we were set to go into the adoption process.
I was given a court date of 12/22/09. That would be the day that Elijah was officially my son, even though he was already my son in my eyes. I had shopping to do! I went out and got him a 5 piece suit and he was ready to go!
The day of his adoption, I cried all the way down the hall to the courtroom. I was trying to explain to Elijah that they were happy tears. Everyone knew it was adoption day by the way he was dressed. Everyone was saying congrats and the women were melting over him. (nothing new)
I got to the end of the hall and there was a man there and asked if I was ok. I said "Yes, I just have to find the courtroom" and kept walking with tears rolling down my face. He told me that that WAS the courtroom and come back. He opened the door, and there was all my family.
When we got into the actual courtroom, there was that man, now in a black robe. I was so embarrassed. He just smiled. I cried most of the time in court too. I was just so happy and relieved that he was now my son and his name would officially be Elijah.
After court was done, Judge Murray came down and gave us all a hug and gave Elijah a toy. We took pictures and some family went home and some went out to lunch with us. It was just a good day...even if I cried through most of it. :)
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
How Elijah came into my life.
I decided that I wanted to do foster care. I was adamant that I was only going to do foster care to give kids a safe place to live until the courts figure out what to do with their cases. I started the process by contacting Children's Service Society about getting licensed as a foster parent. I went to all of my classes and was licensed.
I sat down with my placement specialist and went over what age child I wanted, what I was willing to deal with, any illnesses I thought I could handle, etc. One day later I got a call about a little boy that was going to be put into my care. I went and got him a few days later for a pre-placement visit. All went well. Then, a few days after that, I was told his parents did everything they were supposed to do and he was going home. Well, there I sat confused and nervous.
A day later I got a call that there was a little boy that had been in temporary foster care for almost two months. (They are only supposed to be there 30 days). They needed somewhere for him to go. I was on my way back from a business trip in Indianapolis and my coworker was in the car with me. I was so nervous and the guy had to hear me go on and on about it the rest of the way home.
I was told that the case worker would bring him by a few days later for a pre-placement visit. That day was a long day at work. I was just nervous and excited all at once. I got home from work, and I think I even made him dinner. (I can't remember for sure). The bell rang. My heart dropped to my feet. I went to the door and here comes this handsome little two year old boy and the caseworker. He didn't say anything. He just looked around and took everything in.
We played for a little bit and I did get a smile, but that was about it. I was in love with this little boy. I could not wait to see him again! I was told that I could call his temporary foster mom about setting up his next visit. I called the next day. She said that since she knew he was going that it she felt it would be easier if he just went sooner than later rather than to drag it out. We planned on that Saturday at 9 am. I was to go pick him up at his temporary foster home. I called his case worker and it was all through the courts, they were just changing placement date to Saturday.
I called the daycare to let them know of his start date, requested copies of all of the legal papers, got "kids" food in the house, bought diapers, etc. I was as ready as I would ever be!
Saturday morning, I went and picked him up. I walked up to the door and he was standing at the screen door smiling at me. When I opened the door, he put his arms out for me to pick him up. I did, and he rested his head on my shoulder. Now remember, he had only met me once before this!
We got his things in the car, which consisted of a garbage bag full of balls, a few toys, a mix matched set of pj's, one spare pair of pants, a few shirts and a bag of candy. He said goodbye to his temporary foster home and we were off. It was so quiet in the car. I decided, I bet I know what will work. I asked if he wanted McDonald's? He shook his head yes. So, off to McDonald's we went!
When we got home, he ran right to his room, which he knew from his one pre-placement visit. I noticed that his hair had some issues. It was in braids and they were matted to the back of his head and when I looked closer his scalp was scabbed. I took the braids out with a needle, because they were that tight. Off to get a haircut we went! He just sat there quietly while they cut his hair. They gave me cream to rub into his scalp to repair the damage. On the way home, I turned around and smiled at him at a stop light. He said "Mama". I turned around a cried a bit. I couldn't imagine how scared, confused, lost, etc he was.
Then, we went home for lunch and a nap. He ate next to nothing, which I would later figure out is his norm. put him down for nap, and showed him that I would be right out in the other room and he can come get me if he needs me. He laid down and went right to sleep.
When he got up, I took him to the store to get some clothes and some other things that he needed. I also took him to the toy department. I told him he could get whatever toy he wanted. He pointed at the $1 bouncy ball. LOL. He was so happy with that ball!
We went home, had dinner, and I put Elijah down for bed. I sat by the baby monitor listening to any breath, whimper, etc at all. Nothing. Was he scared? Was he ok? I went in to check on him, and he was out! I sat down on the couch to think about how much my life had changed at 9am that morning.
I sat down with my placement specialist and went over what age child I wanted, what I was willing to deal with, any illnesses I thought I could handle, etc. One day later I got a call about a little boy that was going to be put into my care. I went and got him a few days later for a pre-placement visit. All went well. Then, a few days after that, I was told his parents did everything they were supposed to do and he was going home. Well, there I sat confused and nervous.
A day later I got a call that there was a little boy that had been in temporary foster care for almost two months. (They are only supposed to be there 30 days). They needed somewhere for him to go. I was on my way back from a business trip in Indianapolis and my coworker was in the car with me. I was so nervous and the guy had to hear me go on and on about it the rest of the way home.
I was told that the case worker would bring him by a few days later for a pre-placement visit. That day was a long day at work. I was just nervous and excited all at once. I got home from work, and I think I even made him dinner. (I can't remember for sure). The bell rang. My heart dropped to my feet. I went to the door and here comes this handsome little two year old boy and the caseworker. He didn't say anything. He just looked around and took everything in.
We played for a little bit and I did get a smile, but that was about it. I was in love with this little boy. I could not wait to see him again! I was told that I could call his temporary foster mom about setting up his next visit. I called the next day. She said that since she knew he was going that it she felt it would be easier if he just went sooner than later rather than to drag it out. We planned on that Saturday at 9 am. I was to go pick him up at his temporary foster home. I called his case worker and it was all through the courts, they were just changing placement date to Saturday.
I called the daycare to let them know of his start date, requested copies of all of the legal papers, got "kids" food in the house, bought diapers, etc. I was as ready as I would ever be!
Saturday morning, I went and picked him up. I walked up to the door and he was standing at the screen door smiling at me. When I opened the door, he put his arms out for me to pick him up. I did, and he rested his head on my shoulder. Now remember, he had only met me once before this!
We got his things in the car, which consisted of a garbage bag full of balls, a few toys, a mix matched set of pj's, one spare pair of pants, a few shirts and a bag of candy. He said goodbye to his temporary foster home and we were off. It was so quiet in the car. I decided, I bet I know what will work. I asked if he wanted McDonald's? He shook his head yes. So, off to McDonald's we went!
When we got home, he ran right to his room, which he knew from his one pre-placement visit. I noticed that his hair had some issues. It was in braids and they were matted to the back of his head and when I looked closer his scalp was scabbed. I took the braids out with a needle, because they were that tight. Off to get a haircut we went! He just sat there quietly while they cut his hair. They gave me cream to rub into his scalp to repair the damage. On the way home, I turned around and smiled at him at a stop light. He said "Mama". I turned around a cried a bit. I couldn't imagine how scared, confused, lost, etc he was. Then, we went home for lunch and a nap. He ate next to nothing, which I would later figure out is his norm. put him down for nap, and showed him that I would be right out in the other room and he can come get me if he needs me. He laid down and went right to sleep.
When he got up, I took him to the store to get some clothes and some other things that he needed. I also took him to the toy department. I told him he could get whatever toy he wanted. He pointed at the $1 bouncy ball. LOL. He was so happy with that ball!
We went home, had dinner, and I put Elijah down for bed. I sat by the baby monitor listening to any breath, whimper, etc at all. Nothing. Was he scared? Was he ok? I went in to check on him, and he was out! I sat down on the couch to think about how much my life had changed at 9am that morning.
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